Self-Encouragement

I am so down right now, feeling particularly self-conscious and like I will never not have rolls when I sit, let lone ever see bones, so I'm blogging to vent, and doing calculations to see how far I still have to go to reach my goal of 129 to cheer myself up.

I'm 146.2.

That's at least one pound thinner than when I first met my husband in person.

It's also the thinnest I've been in 12 years.

12 years ago, I got down to my thinnest adult weight ever -- 138. I only maintained it for a few months, because I went "off" the diet and 10 pounds seemed to come back overnight. Since then, the lowest I've ever gotten has been 147...and even then, only on occasion. I usually hit about 149, and somehow or another lose momentum. Usually, it's the end of the summer or holidays come up and I maintain for awhile, then end up creeping back to 155, 158, 162. Sometimes, like a year and a half ago when I started this journey, I ended up over 170.

I can't believe it -- I'm only 6.3 pounds away from reaching 139.9!

I've only been under 140 once, 12 years ago.

I'm only 8.2 pounds away from being my thinnest ever.

And I'm only 17 pounds away from being 129.2. Less than 20. At that weight, I assume I will lose the flab in my arms and be able to see muscle tone. At that weight, I assume, my ribs will show, my shoulder blades will show, and a hit of spine will be nice.

But 17 weeks puts me in the end of September.

Will I be able to hold onto this motivation till then? Will I be able to keep pushing myself to run...even when the heat waves set in? What happens when i run out of biggest loser episodes to watch? (They've been my motivation -- watching several episodes of the Australia version every day).

I can't think about the 17. I just can't. It's too much, it's too far away.

Right now, I am going to focus on losing at least .5 this week, which makes my WW 10%. Of course I hope to lose more than that, but I've lost 2.2 the last two weeks, and I'm not sure after weight losses of .4's and .8's before that, how long that will continue.

My next goal after that will def be 139.9.

Then, probably, 134.9.

Then I will focus on 129.

Hopefully, somewhere in there, I will start feel thin.