Thin by wedding? Fat chance. :(

*sigh*

It's not exactly that I overate this weekend, just that everything I did eat was WAY off my diet. I refuse to get on the scale. I'm sure it says something like 163 or even 165. How the heck do I expect to lose weight, especially the amount I need to lose, if I only eat right 4 days a week.

Grrrrr! I am so conditioned to treat myself (ie. pig out) on the weekends, (which basically worked in my 20's), but alas, not so much 30's.

Ok, so I need to come up with some way of getting myself to stick to diet even on weekends, or at least, only having 1 treat day -- not 2.5 (Friday night through Sunday).

I bought what looks like a very interesting book. It's called Hungry and it's about this women who was a anorexic model and finally said the hell with this, started eating, and became a gorgeous plus-size model. I'm going to read it while on the treadmill. Usually I read Koontz (very easy to stay on treadmill for desired length, sometimes more), but I just started a new one and can't seem to get into it yet.

Also bought a workbook on how to stop emotional eating. Hopefully they cover something in there about reconditioning the belief that weekends = pigout. This is practically my life for the last 17 years:

Workweek -- Diet
Weekend -- Binge
Workweek -- Diet
Weekend -- Binge

Maybe I need to go on a fast. A nice, healthy, V8 fusion juice fast. Even if I only did that till I reached 150/149, at least then I would be fully motivated to push myself. It would be much easier to NOT pig out on the weekends if I was thin. When you're fat, er, attractively squishy, (that's my attempt at being nice to myself, per the body image experts), it's much harder. Then again, when thin, it's like, oh, I can treat myself, I am thin.

WHY CAN'T I GET IT THROUGH MY THICK HEAD THAT "TREAT" DOESN'T EQUATE WITH 3 DAYS OF SPLURGING!?!?!?!