Weigh-in

Well, I weight in at 153.8.

3 pounds (well, 2.8 pounds) less than 2 weeks ago. So either I lose 1 pound last week and 2 this week, or I lost 0 last week and 3 this week. Either way, I didn't make it to my goal of 152.

:(

I have a -2 per week plan. I would be 138 by wedding day. Ironically, that was my original goal weight. 127 popped into my head when I realized that would ensure my pics were awesome. I don't want to look like a big round blob with big blobby arms.

153 is about my average weight. This is where I've spent most of my adult life. Once (a few months after my son was born) I got down to 138. Still have those jeans too! Size 7, baby. But most of my life I've been around 153-155 which is my low average to 158 - 162 which is my high average.

A few times I've hit 172-175 but that is only during major emotional upheaval periods.

I am thinking I am so focused on what I haven't lost and the fear of being fat and ugly on my wedding is going to destroy my focus and undermine my motivation. Even now I am thinking "And why don't i go have some sugar? Why have I given up all those McDonald Frappe's? Why aren't I having pizza tonight?"

BECAUSE one of the main reasons why I probably haven't hit a 4 pound week yet (or even 3) is because I'm not in fat burning mode all weekend long. If I make it sugar free this weekend, it will be my first.

That's what i should do. I should set an easy goal for myself for Monday morning. Instead of seeing next friday's goal looming so far in the distance.

Hmmmm.

If I am 153.8, and I have 3 days......(did I just lose 3 pounds in 3 days by being in the burgundy tues, wed, and thurs, or is that 3 an accumulation of 2 full weeks?.....)

OK, I think my moderate goal will be 152.8, but I will push myself (meaning actually exercise on a weekend) to try and reach 150.8. Anything in between will be rewarded and applauded. I must remember to actually do that though -- reward myself with something (something apparently not sugar).

So Far This Year:

April : 172 -- 161 (lost 11 pounds)

May: 161 -- 161 (lost nothing)

June: 161 -- 156.6  (lost 4.4 )

July -- 156.6 -- ??? (So far,

July   2 -- 156.6
July   9 -- ???
July 16 -- 153.8

Worst case scenario, I will reach 149.8 by July 30th, which will account for a 6.8 pound monthly loss.

Then I will have 5 weeks to lose 10-12 pounds (137-139).

If I can pull over 3 pound losses each week, I will be 132 for wedding.

If 2 pounds, 139.

If 1 pound, 147 (THAT would suck!)

I wish I knew at what weight I was 17% body fat. If that could only be 139. But last time I was at 139, I was 19%. I know, I know. That's my lowest healthy weight, which is why it was my original goal, but I do not want to look fat in my wedding pictures.

Does anyone else feel like they have to compete with the myriad of ultra-thin, underweight images plastered everywhere and half-dressed in every movie...or is just me???

:(

I want to be thin.

I want to feel pretty.