I Am Doomed

This is a picture of me only a month ago at 161 pounds.

.

I am currently 156 with only 7 weeks to go.

I am doomed.

If I even allow myself to think there is no way I will look like a model (i.e. be photographable) by September 3rd, I will lose what lingering motivation I have. I look horrid in this picture.

I can ignore the hair, it was 100 degrees, the humidity was unbearable, and my cute little curls died a slow, agonizing death. But my wedding will be indoors and in September so hopefully it will be cooler.

I can even ignore how ridiculous my chest looks -- I told my sister that I would look ridiculous in a dress cut like that, but she insisted. She believes all cleavage is evil.

But what I can't ignore are my larger than the average person's arms (see blog post The Demonic Blood Pressure Machine) and my round, definitionless face.

And what the crap color lipstick is one supposed to wear for their lips to not disappear into their face? I will have to google/study/research photogenic makeup and photography makeup techniques. 

I could cry. 

I do not want to look that ugly on my wedding day. 

I ate 900 calories yesterday and burned 750 in cardio.

I ate less than 20 grams of carbs.

I weigh 156 pounds. :(

I need to go work out.