Engaged!

Yes, I am finally and officially engaged.

After a ton of stress and overtime and a move and more stress and fatigue on his part and my having several "failing heart moments" (see another post which I will link to someday, well, will probably forget too, but it basically means having an extreme self-conscious, I am so ugly and worthless and deserving of rejection don't look at me attacks), we finally were able to have abit of  time together after I went with him to work on his on-call jobs.

On the way back, we stopped at a state park and he left his phone in the work truck and we attempted to have a picnic which didn't work out (the park almost didn't work out as it charged and we had no cash and after everything that had already gone wrong that weekend., I was in tears and feeling like this very strong force was apparently out to make sure we would never be together and that if we fought against it, it would just make our lives miserable and we would never get a chancee to even enjoy our love.

Anyway, we found cash, our picnic lunch got extremely cold and gross (I couldn't even eat it), and we decided to go for a walk in the woods.

That ended up being very nice. We found some fitness challenges along the path and laughed with each other as we tried to do them. One spot was very muddy so I rode on his back. Then, very deep in the woods, on a bridge (very Rivendell-ish), we stood and talked for awhile, and then he prayed (he always prays very awesome, I've never heard a man pray like him) for us, for my son, for becoming a family, for the sanctity of our marriage.

Then we stood there again, and he was very nervous, which was ridiculously sweet. And the light was coming through the trees and highlighting his hair and face and he looked so good, and then he got on one knee and asked.

:)

And miraculously, when we got back to the truck there was no missed work calls and we had the rest of the evening together.