Did you know crabs grow in a field? Yup, little crab eggs are planted in the ground and up sprout crabs. Not true? How can that not be true when there are FREAKING CARBS IN CRAB!?!?!
Sorry, had to vent that when the other day upon deciding to make my new favorite food in the world -- crab salad -- that there are carbohydrates in the crab. In complete disbelief, since there are no carbohydrates in any other meat like chicken or beef, I look at the ingredients. #1 Seafood. #2 Sugar.
SUGAR!?!?! They add freaking sugar to the crab. Um, hello, if my crab is not sweet enough, I will sprinkle some splenda into my crab salad, thank you.
Usually I check EVERYTHING before I buy it, much to DH's frustration, but I never even considered the fact that I had to check meat for carbs. I'd checked it for calories, fat, and protein -- in which it scores wonderfully, but didn't even glance at the carbs. Why should I? It's meat.
Grrrr.
Needless to say, after giving into temptation Sunday, and then eating crab salad on Monday (unaware of the carbs, I haven't eaten it since I found out and next time at the store will try to find a No Sugar Added version), I didn't pee in the pink family until yesterday. On top of that, I ate a low sugar scoop of ice cream so woke up in the beige, was pink in the early afternoon. I am probably burgundy right now and just finished one of my Jillian tapes so hopefully I just kicked some fat-burning booty. :)
I need to stop eating No Sugar Ice Cream at night. I need to be burning fat stores while I sleep. *sigh* I've read up on ketosis online and there is no way that <20 grams of carbs a day should knock me out of ketosis. It's very frustrating. Under 40's not even supposed to. But all I have to do is eat a weeny bit of 4 sugar ice cream and BAM!
Anyway, I think I will post some recipes because I must say for myself I make some good low-fat (and now low-sugar) stuff. I refuse to eat anything that tastes bad -- which is most fat-free stuff. Concerning sugar-free stuff, I know some people can taste it and some can't. I happen to be very lucky in that I normally can't taste it, or it's not so bad to turn me off. Most of the time. There have been some exceptions.
So I am going to start a recipe page (and since I should be packing right now) will just jot a few down, but will come back and add some more. I have made some surprisingly delicious low-far or low-sugar creations that you'll wonder why you'd ever need eat the regular version again.
And if you want a substitute recipe of your favorite dish or dessert, let me know and I'll give you ideas and/or tell you how I would make it.
Going back to my carbo-crab vent, have you ever discovered some food you took for granted was healthy or low something or other only to discover it wasn't?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Bridesmaid Pics: 161 pounds Current: 153 pounds
Arm: 13 1/4 13
Chest: 34 1/2
Waist: 32 31 1/2
Hip: 41 40 1/2
Thigh: 25 1/4 24 3/4
So compared to the ugly and fat bridesmaid pictures:
Arm : 1/4 inch less
Waist: 1/2 inch less
Hip: 1/2 inch less
Thigh: 1/2 inch less
Woopee-dee-do.
My Goal measurments:
Arm: 11
Waist: 27 (29 MAX)
Hips: 37
Thigh: 22
Arm: 13 1/4 13
Chest: 34 1/2
Waist: 32 31 1/2
Hip: 41 40 1/2
Thigh: 25 1/4 24 3/4
So compared to the ugly and fat bridesmaid pictures:
Arm : 1/4 inch less
Waist: 1/2 inch less
Hip: 1/2 inch less
Thigh: 1/2 inch less
Woopee-dee-do.
My Goal measurments:
Arm: 11
Waist: 27 (29 MAX)
Hips: 37
Thigh: 22
The Fat Truth
Oh, yes, can't you just hear the guys now...they'd love to see that girl naked. She's so freakin' hot. They want to see her peel off her clothes, they want to admire her from head to foot, longing to touch every inch of her.
Uh-huh.
Yes, friends, more lovely sis' wedding pictures. Posted AND FREAKIN' TAGGED on facebook.
By the way, the nice red lines marking the areas that need to be deleted are for that random, stupid, blind sob who says, "what's wrong with the way you look?"
Compared to Megan Fox or Natalie Portman or any other semi-anorexic, photoshopped, plastic-boobed (MF) celebrity, I may as well be a contestant on the biggest loser.
I've been crying off and on since last night when i first discovered the posted pictures....which was AFTER I ate a stupid freakin' glazed donut on top of an hours earlier lunch of 1/4 a Pizza Hut Personal Pan pizza and about an 1/6 of a jumbo chocolate chip cookie (all bought and eaten in front of me by DF) and after I ran 3 miles at the park in the dark.
45 days to go....
Friday, July 16, 2010
An Explanation for my Psychosis
I will try to explain the root of my body image problem.
Things my father taught me:
Only perfection deserves any merit
Perfection is how you earn approval and acceptance
2nd place (anything less than perfection) is failure (not as applied to sports, just in general)
Things both my parents taught me:
All a man wants is sex
If you don't satisfy a man often enough, he will cheat
Nudity in a movie makes a man lust
Things the men in my life have taught me:
Father had a secret porn stash
Ex-husband had a secret porn stash
Thus, I am not good enough unless I look like a model/actress and he will mentally ravish other women in his mind or imagine I look like them when he's with me because I fall short and thus am worthless. I am not pretty enough or of value enough to be mentally faithful with.
Things the media has taught me:
Men want tiny waists, narrow hips, thin thighs, and big boobs
All men look / lust
Compare yourself to all these "prefect bodied" women and do everything in your power to try and emulate them.
Hate your age.
Hate your weight.
Hate every part of your body.
Do these things to make your man want you.
Don't get far, squishy, etc.
Do this to look better naked.
Do this to be better in bed.
Contradictions we must reconcile and live by:
Order a salad.
Don't be one of those girls who can't eat or just eat a salad -- guys hate that.
Communicate with your man.
Don't talk about your insecurities -- that makes you unattractive.
(So hold it all in and try not to cry and then when you can't bear for him to look at you say you have a headache).
Buy a VS Love My Body push up bra which will transform any woman of any size into a volumptious vixen. (So what the hell happens when you're in bed and the bra comes off????). Love your body IN the bra because now you measure up....then what?
I realize maximizing my bust is not an issue for me, but I still remember the days when I was much smaller and felt so inadequate and wore every padded push up bra I could find. And I remember the terror of someone finding out I wasn't really that big/pretty/high value. But I can presently relate in the sense of a corset. I have excess skin that just sits in a huge bulge from my disfigured belly button to my panty line. Sexy, huh? While everyone and their mother -- both in real life and on TV/Movies where low rise jeans and short tops and show off their bare midriffs I am forced to keep covered and hide my ugliness. And even then, there is a bulge. No matter how tight my jeans, or whether I wear that ugly underwear shaper thing, there is the bulge. All I can do is pray that someday (before I get too old for it to make a difference), I can afford a tummy tuck. Ironically, I don't even need a true tummy tuck, my abs are hard as a rock, I just need the blasted loose skin removed.
So anyway....even when I reach goal weight, even if every other part of me was thin and toned, in any full frontal nudity pose / position, I will still be ugly. And even if not "ugly" definitely not comparable to any model/actress or live girl walking around baring her midriff in front of man every time he walks out the door. I will always be second best (or third, fourth, whatever -- the point is I will NEVER measure up, until goal weight and plastic surgery. And DF has voiced concerns about the scar and how it looks like Frankenstein and like the woman looks cut in half, etc. So even then, though much more confident, if I see his eyes going right to the scar, I will still not feel like I measure up).
I feel like crap now....even more so than before.
I'm going to go workout.
Things my father taught me:
Only perfection deserves any merit
Perfection is how you earn approval and acceptance
2nd place (anything less than perfection) is failure (not as applied to sports, just in general)
Things both my parents taught me:
All a man wants is sex
If you don't satisfy a man often enough, he will cheat
Nudity in a movie makes a man lust
Things the men in my life have taught me:
Father had a secret porn stash
Ex-husband had a secret porn stash
Thus, I am not good enough unless I look like a model/actress and he will mentally ravish other women in his mind or imagine I look like them when he's with me because I fall short and thus am worthless. I am not pretty enough or of value enough to be mentally faithful with.
Things the media has taught me:
Men want tiny waists, narrow hips, thin thighs, and big boobs
All men look / lust
Compare yourself to all these "prefect bodied" women and do everything in your power to try and emulate them.
Hate your age.
Hate your weight.
Hate every part of your body.
Do these things to make your man want you.
Don't get far, squishy, etc.
Do this to look better naked.
Do this to be better in bed.
Contradictions we must reconcile and live by:
Order a salad.
Don't be one of those girls who can't eat or just eat a salad -- guys hate that.
Communicate with your man.
Don't talk about your insecurities -- that makes you unattractive.
(So hold it all in and try not to cry and then when you can't bear for him to look at you say you have a headache).
Buy a VS Love My Body push up bra which will transform any woman of any size into a volumptious vixen. (So what the hell happens when you're in bed and the bra comes off????). Love your body IN the bra because now you measure up....then what?
I realize maximizing my bust is not an issue for me, but I still remember the days when I was much smaller and felt so inadequate and wore every padded push up bra I could find. And I remember the terror of someone finding out I wasn't really that big/pretty/high value. But I can presently relate in the sense of a corset. I have excess skin that just sits in a huge bulge from my disfigured belly button to my panty line. Sexy, huh? While everyone and their mother -- both in real life and on TV/Movies where low rise jeans and short tops and show off their bare midriffs I am forced to keep covered and hide my ugliness. And even then, there is a bulge. No matter how tight my jeans, or whether I wear that ugly underwear shaper thing, there is the bulge. All I can do is pray that someday (before I get too old for it to make a difference), I can afford a tummy tuck. Ironically, I don't even need a true tummy tuck, my abs are hard as a rock, I just need the blasted loose skin removed.
So anyway....even when I reach goal weight, even if every other part of me was thin and toned, in any full frontal nudity pose / position, I will still be ugly. And even if not "ugly" definitely not comparable to any model/actress or live girl walking around baring her midriff in front of man every time he walks out the door. I will always be second best (or third, fourth, whatever -- the point is I will NEVER measure up, until goal weight and plastic surgery. And DF has voiced concerns about the scar and how it looks like Frankenstein and like the woman looks cut in half, etc. So even then, though much more confident, if I see his eyes going right to the scar, I will still not feel like I measure up).
I feel like crap now....even more so than before.
I'm going to go workout.
Weigh-in
Well, I weight in at 153.8.
3 pounds (well, 2.8 pounds) less than 2 weeks ago. So either I lose 1 pound last week and 2 this week, or I lost 0 last week and 3 this week. Either way, I didn't make it to my goal of 152.
:(
I have a -2 per week plan. I would be 138 by wedding day. Ironically, that was my original goal weight. 127 popped into my head when I realized that would ensure my pics were awesome. I don't want to look like a big round blob with big blobby arms.
153 is about my average weight. This is where I've spent most of my adult life. Once (a few months after my son was born) I got down to 138. Still have those jeans too! Size 7, baby. But most of my life I've been around 153-155 which is my low average to 158 - 162 which is my high average.
A few times I've hit 172-175 but that is only during major emotional upheaval periods.
I am thinking I am so focused on what I haven't lost and the fear of being fat and ugly on my wedding is going to destroy my focus and undermine my motivation. Even now I am thinking "And why don't i go have some sugar? Why have I given up all those McDonald Frappe's? Why aren't I having pizza tonight?"
BECAUSE one of the main reasons why I probably haven't hit a 4 pound week yet (or even 3) is because I'm not in fat burning mode all weekend long. If I make it sugar free this weekend, it will be my first.
That's what i should do. I should set an easy goal for myself for Monday morning. Instead of seeing next friday's goal looming so far in the distance.
Hmmmm.
If I am 153.8, and I have 3 days......(did I just lose 3 pounds in 3 days by being in the burgundy tues, wed, and thurs, or is that 3 an accumulation of 2 full weeks?.....)
OK, I think my moderate goal will be 152.8, but I will push myself (meaning actually exercise on a weekend) to try and reach 150.8. Anything in between will be rewarded and applauded. I must remember to actually do that though -- reward myself with something (something apparently not sugar).
So Far This Year:
April : 172 -- 161 (lost 11 pounds)
May: 161 -- 161 (lost nothing)
June: 161 -- 156.6 (lost 4.4 )
July -- 156.6 -- ??? (So far,
July 2 -- 156.6
July 9 -- ???
July 16 -- 153.8
Worst case scenario, I will reach 149.8 by July 30th, which will account for a 6.8 pound monthly loss.
Then I will have 5 weeks to lose 10-12 pounds (137-139).
If I can pull over 3 pound losses each week, I will be 132 for wedding.
If 2 pounds, 139.
If 1 pound, 147 (THAT would suck!)
I wish I knew at what weight I was 17% body fat. If that could only be 139. But last time I was at 139, I was 19%. I know, I know. That's my lowest healthy weight, which is why it was my original goal, but I do not want to look fat in my wedding pictures.
Does anyone else feel like they have to compete with the myriad of ultra-thin, underweight images plastered everywhere and half-dressed in every movie...or is just me???
:(
I want to be thin.
I want to feel pretty.
3 pounds (well, 2.8 pounds) less than 2 weeks ago. So either I lose 1 pound last week and 2 this week, or I lost 0 last week and 3 this week. Either way, I didn't make it to my goal of 152.
:(
I have a -2 per week plan. I would be 138 by wedding day. Ironically, that was my original goal weight. 127 popped into my head when I realized that would ensure my pics were awesome. I don't want to look like a big round blob with big blobby arms.
153 is about my average weight. This is where I've spent most of my adult life. Once (a few months after my son was born) I got down to 138. Still have those jeans too! Size 7, baby. But most of my life I've been around 153-155 which is my low average to 158 - 162 which is my high average.
A few times I've hit 172-175 but that is only during major emotional upheaval periods.
I am thinking I am so focused on what I haven't lost and the fear of being fat and ugly on my wedding is going to destroy my focus and undermine my motivation. Even now I am thinking "And why don't i go have some sugar? Why have I given up all those McDonald Frappe's? Why aren't I having pizza tonight?"
BECAUSE one of the main reasons why I probably haven't hit a 4 pound week yet (or even 3) is because I'm not in fat burning mode all weekend long. If I make it sugar free this weekend, it will be my first.
That's what i should do. I should set an easy goal for myself for Monday morning. Instead of seeing next friday's goal looming so far in the distance.
Hmmmm.
If I am 153.8, and I have 3 days......(did I just lose 3 pounds in 3 days by being in the burgundy tues, wed, and thurs, or is that 3 an accumulation of 2 full weeks?.....)
OK, I think my moderate goal will be 152.8, but I will push myself (meaning actually exercise on a weekend) to try and reach 150.8. Anything in between will be rewarded and applauded. I must remember to actually do that though -- reward myself with something (something apparently not sugar).
So Far This Year:
April : 172 -- 161 (lost 11 pounds)
May: 161 -- 161 (lost nothing)
June: 161 -- 156.6 (lost 4.4 )
July -- 156.6 -- ??? (So far,
July 2 -- 156.6
July 9 -- ???
July 16 -- 153.8
Worst case scenario, I will reach 149.8 by July 30th, which will account for a 6.8 pound monthly loss.
Then I will have 5 weeks to lose 10-12 pounds (137-139).
If I can pull over 3 pound losses each week, I will be 132 for wedding.
If 2 pounds, 139.
If 1 pound, 147 (THAT would suck!)
I wish I knew at what weight I was 17% body fat. If that could only be 139. But last time I was at 139, I was 19%. I know, I know. That's my lowest healthy weight, which is why it was my original goal, but I do not want to look fat in my wedding pictures.
Does anyone else feel like they have to compete with the myriad of ultra-thin, underweight images plastered everywhere and half-dressed in every movie...or is just me???
:(
I want to be thin.
I want to feel pretty.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Hope on the Horizon
Well, I am finally in the burgundy.
Actually, I've been there since at least yesterday. I bought a new container of strips since the last ones were generic and we went through a heat wave and I know my house got up over the "do not exceed 84 degrees storage" recommendation.
I don't think it made too much of a difference. I peed on both a new stick and an old, and my readings were the same. However, the newer, non-generic version seems more sensitive, in that a burgundy reading was very clear and on the old I didn't know if it was mauve or burgundy.
Because of my no sugar added Light Fudge Tracks ice cream for dessert each night, I test trace each morning. (trace with only 2 grams of sugar -- can I get a loud 'annoying!') But my mid-afternoon I am back in the burgundy.
I have a very nice idea for dinner tomorrow night, to replace the pizza, since eating a regular meal with carbs takes 36 hours to get back in the mauve: Sweet Italian Sausage (turkey) with ricotta, mozzarella, provolone, and Parmesan cheese all melted together. I've been getting pretty good at the "bowl" recipes.
Tonight I am going to have a bowl of chicken with bacon (low fat) and Light pepper jack cheese all melted together. My dinners range between 200 -- 300 calories a meal.
Anyway, my new goal weights for the next 8 weeks are:
Week 8 -- 152
Week 7 -- 148
Week 6 -- 144
Week 5 -- 140
Week 4 -- 136
Week 3 -- 133
Week 2 -- 130
Week 1 -- 127 (Wedding Day)
I realize this is pretty determined, but I figure, what the heck, they do it all the time on biggest loser. Granted they work out for 4 -6 hours a day, but I eat less then them, so I am hoping since these numbers are modest goals for BL contestants, they can work for me with my program.
If my program works (I've been doing alot of research into the most effective ways to burn pure fat), ie if I start dropping 2 - 4 pounds a week, I will share my program. Maybe I should even write another book. Ha! Wouldn't that be ironic if I book I wrote in a matter of weeks got published faster than a book I wrote over 5 years.
But anyway, i would include lots of personalization and customization and body image tips and beauty tips and info on supplements as well as maintenance tips (after I make sure that part of my plan works too, lol). Ok, so yea, I am running away with myself, dreaming again. O well, it's in my nature. Hey, they say if you don't set big goals, you will never achieve big goals.
Ok, I'm gonna go lie down for a quick power nap and will hopefully wake up with tons of energy to go workout.
Actually, I've been there since at least yesterday. I bought a new container of strips since the last ones were generic and we went through a heat wave and I know my house got up over the "do not exceed 84 degrees storage" recommendation.
I don't think it made too much of a difference. I peed on both a new stick and an old, and my readings were the same. However, the newer, non-generic version seems more sensitive, in that a burgundy reading was very clear and on the old I didn't know if it was mauve or burgundy.
Because of my no sugar added Light Fudge Tracks ice cream for dessert each night, I test trace each morning. (trace with only 2 grams of sugar -- can I get a loud 'annoying!') But my mid-afternoon I am back in the burgundy.
I have a very nice idea for dinner tomorrow night, to replace the pizza, since eating a regular meal with carbs takes 36 hours to get back in the mauve: Sweet Italian Sausage (turkey) with ricotta, mozzarella, provolone, and Parmesan cheese all melted together. I've been getting pretty good at the "bowl" recipes.
Tonight I am going to have a bowl of chicken with bacon (low fat) and Light pepper jack cheese all melted together. My dinners range between 200 -- 300 calories a meal.
Anyway, my new goal weights for the next 8 weeks are:
Week 8 -- 152
Week 7 -- 148
Week 6 -- 144
Week 5 -- 140
Week 4 -- 136
Week 3 -- 133
Week 2 -- 130
Week 1 -- 127 (Wedding Day)
I realize this is pretty determined, but I figure, what the heck, they do it all the time on biggest loser. Granted they work out for 4 -6 hours a day, but I eat less then them, so I am hoping since these numbers are modest goals for BL contestants, they can work for me with my program.
If my program works (I've been doing alot of research into the most effective ways to burn pure fat), ie if I start dropping 2 - 4 pounds a week, I will share my program. Maybe I should even write another book. Ha! Wouldn't that be ironic if I book I wrote in a matter of weeks got published faster than a book I wrote over 5 years.
But anyway, i would include lots of personalization and customization and body image tips and beauty tips and info on supplements as well as maintenance tips (after I make sure that part of my plan works too, lol). Ok, so yea, I am running away with myself, dreaming again. O well, it's in my nature. Hey, they say if you don't set big goals, you will never achieve big goals.
Ok, I'm gonna go lie down for a quick power nap and will hopefully wake up with tons of energy to go workout.
A Midweek Update
Monday:
I don't really remember, but I do think I forced myself to do the Jillian workout. I think I did have in the morning and the other half that night, but I honestly don't remember. I know i really, really didn't feel like doing it and had to push myself. I think i did the whole thing, but can't remember. I know I did at least 4 circuits, so 24 minutes (approx 300 calories).
Tuesday:
Cardio w/ Jillian (forget how many circuits, may only have been 10 minutes)
300 Calories burned on elliptical
300 calories burned on treadmill
Wednesday:
1/2 Cardio w/ Jillian
Entire Upper Body Cardio w/ Jillian
3 miles on the track
Thursday:
My plan is to do Lower Body Weights/Cardio w/ Jillian and then hit the track for a 3-mile HITT session but at the moment, am feeling tired and lazy.
I should really push myself, as this would be considered a Last Chance Workout and I need the scale to say 152. That will only be a 4 pound loss from 2 weeks ago, so 2 pounds from last week (I never weighed in, so not sure if I lost anything) and 2 pounds this week.
We shall see.....
I don't really remember, but I do think I forced myself to do the Jillian workout. I think I did have in the morning and the other half that night, but I honestly don't remember. I know i really, really didn't feel like doing it and had to push myself. I think i did the whole thing, but can't remember. I know I did at least 4 circuits, so 24 minutes (approx 300 calories).
Tuesday:
Cardio w/ Jillian (forget how many circuits, may only have been 10 minutes)
300 Calories burned on elliptical
300 calories burned on treadmill
Wednesday:
1/2 Cardio w/ Jillian
Entire Upper Body Cardio w/ Jillian
3 miles on the track
Thursday:
My plan is to do Lower Body Weights/Cardio w/ Jillian and then hit the track for a 3-mile HITT session but at the moment, am feeling tired and lazy.
I should really push myself, as this would be considered a Last Chance Workout and I need the scale to say 152. That will only be a 4 pound loss from 2 weeks ago, so 2 pounds from last week (I never weighed in, so not sure if I lost anything) and 2 pounds this week.
We shall see.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)